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Finding me

Finding me

Category Archives: Simply Put

my personal journal

What’s your super power?

27 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by Krista in Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Imperfectly Perfect, In His Imagine, Simply Put, Uncategorized

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Or perhaps a more advantageous and precise question would be…

What is your favorite super power?

Cause boy howdy if we are not all blessed with MANY!

My favorite of all the super powers I have, is my ability to discern and ascertain, almost instantly, someone else’s current state of being.

For my entire existence I have had the keen ability to feel another’s feelings so profoundly that I can sense their mood, attitude, the deepest recesses of their emotions, the moment I walk into their presence.

Through the decades I have learned that one of my favorite gifts that comes with this super power is the potential to alter and impact those feelings…

elevating when they are down, bringing calm when emotions are flared, balancing the chaos, lightening the heavy…

Typically this is achieved by my staying calm, full of love, being astute, present, but neutral~knowing these are their feelings not my own, praying for guidance as I maneuver the unseen, and more times than not, accomplishing it all without the need of words.

My super power has allowed me to live my entire life from a heart centered space.

It is magnificent and one that I would not trade even for those of Superman or Wonder Woman. Although I really would enjoy playing around with that gals bullet deflecting bracelets and magical tiara that so slyly functions as a boomerang.

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Now my super powers, just like Superman and Wonder Woman, my favorite one in particular, has weaknesses.

His, as we know, is kryptonite and if those indestructible bracelets of hers get bound together…poor child’s awesome powers are completely lost.

Mine, however, comes from a couple of sources.

First source of weakness…

when I am not well rested or completely run down. When this happens I am just no good to myself or anyone else.

Second when I have not spent time alone in mediation. For I’m left feeling untethered and unable to accurately hone in on feelings.

Lastly, and thankfully, this is the most unlikely weakness to be breached, especially when the other two weaknesses are strong and in tact…

is when my own feelings have been hurt.

Have found when it is the latter, I tend to quickly and quietly withdraw. For it is a difficult task to feel another’s feeling, when I am overwhelmed with my own. This form of retreating, is the way I’ve always handled my undesired emotions. This is the way that I can accurately understand and manage the upheaval of that which customarily stable. This is the way that feels the most comfortable…the most safe. This, I am finding, is not how I want to continue as I transform (my word for 2018) into all that I have been created to be. 

I figure, in order for me to continue to grow in and fortify my super powers that I must consistently strengthen them. So today, and every day that comes after, when I feel like cocooning in… I will take a moment, access my super power and see if my own hurt emotions can be fully felt, duly managed, without the need to retreat. It is a promise I make to myself, more importantly it is a promise I make to those I love. It is a somewhat scary undertaking that is well outside my comfort zone. But I liken it to Wonder Woman allowing me to play dress up with all her accessories. Without the ability to be vulnerable how can we ever truly understand our strengths and appreciate the super powers we have been given.

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two mothers~

22 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Bonafide Teen, Simply Put, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

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In  a serious tone, she asked “how long did y’all wait for me?” my heart skipped. Well it was more than just a skip, it was a jump, a somersault, and a cart-wheel all at once. Quickly praying for guidance and for words that as an adult I could not fully wrap my mind around yet now hoped that a 7-year-old would somehow be able to comprehend. Taking the longest inhale, holding her hands, I launched into ‘the conversation’…

“pretty much waited and prepared for you my whole life.  Ever since desiring to be a mom I would pray for a child that I could lovingly guide and whose life I could be a vital part of. To be honest, I secretly and sometimes not so secretly hoped for a daughter. And in all those years that I longed for, waited for, and prayed for this child, even with all the hurdles that were placed in front of, somehow, I felt at the deepest part of my being, that when the time was right it would happen. And while, I never anticipated that we would go half way around the world to become parents…for YOU, baby girl, I would have willingly waited for as long as necessary and would have gladly traveled to the ends of the earth. You were always meant to be ours. And we were always meant to be yours.”

Exhaling the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, I stood there waiting and wondering what she is thinking? Had what I said sufficiently answered her question? Did it sound to her little ear like a silly cliché even though every word was sincere and deeply heart-felt? Would the next question be why did they give me up?, or did they not want me?, or could they not care for me? Or any of the other million and seventeen questions I might have asked if in her place. Being honest with every action and word since the moment we met, my mind quickly went to was I truly ready to answer any and all questions she might need answers to?

My mind a flurry with questions I’d presumed would come my way, when she looked up at me with her gorgeous brown Asian eyes, smiling she said “I know all that. No, what I was wondering how long did you and daddy sit on the black sofa in China and wait for the nanny to bring me out to meet you?”

Oh

ohhhhhhhhh

OHHHHHHHHH

THAT.

“only about 10 minutes”

and just that quickly her curiosity was settled and off she went back to what she was doing before.

My daughter and I share a completely open line of communication. Absolutely nothing is off-limits. From time to time she has asked things that have answers that are far beyond her grasp. Yet I will still answer each to the best of my ability. Sharing what I believe she can take in given her level of maturity and understanding at the time of the questions. Sheltering her from time to time when she is not fully ready for the entirety of it. It has consistently been this way. For this and so much more I am thankful for the relationship we have created.

The conversation that took place when she was seven was not the first we spoke about her adoption. In fact, how we became a family, is a treasure to us. One that is fully embraced, highly cherished, and proudly shared. We adore that she became ours through such a loving process. We have talked openly about the history of China, with their one child policy. We have looked at pictures of the orphanage where she spent her first 13 months. We’ve discussed the possibilities of her having unknown siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins… As she got older and began to understand why families in China were not willing/able to keep their daughters, she felt sorrow for the insufficient value placed on girls and the lack of worth she feels is granted to women in her birth country. One of her heart-felt desires is to see this eradicated in her lifetime.

Fortunately she has never once felt unwanted, unloved, or abandoned. She has only known an abundance of love, unconditional acceptance, and complete embracing from her entire crazy family (her description). She is ours. We are hers. She is, and loves in return, enormously.

The only other time my gal has come to me with a question in a somewhat serious manner about her adoption was in regards to her birth mother. She asked if I knew what she looked like. Even though I believe she knew the answer prior to asking. Since she knows that her story, and our limited knowledge of her history, began on the steps of an orphanage in Nanjing China. Once again taking her hands and looking deeply into her eyes I answered with the utmost sincerity… “I do not, but she must be breathtaking to have had a daughter as lovely as you.” I went on to say, still with a resolute knowing “she loved you very much, of this I am certain, for she took a huge risk to leave you on those steps, out in the open, allowing you to be discovered and quickly cared for”. Once again satisfied with the answer she hugged me tightly.

Today it is rare for us to think about or discuss how we became a family. Just as I imagine folks who have kids the natural old fashion way don’t spend their days sitting around thinking and talking about their child’s birth. We just live each day in love, with a great deal of laughter, and an unfathomable amount of homework.

But every once in awhile and particularly on days like today…my gal’s 14th birthday, I will think about the breathtaking woman in China and say a prayer of gratitude for her courage and her precious gift.

 

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Alchemy at its best~

26 Thursday Oct 2017

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Coffee, Yoga and God, Simply Put, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Definition

When we immerse ourselves into something intensely, passionately, with a great deal of intention and profound joy.  It impacts us. Changes us. Transforming the moment, the attitude, the understanding…the person.

It can simply be by soaking in a tub of steaming hot water full of essential oils with their essence wafting through the air, or by taking off on a radical adventure in a far away land where relying on the kindness of others takes center stage. Perhaps it comes by enjoying a new hobby, or learning to speak a new langue, cooking a new dish, learning to play the guitar…paint…surf. Or it could be by the simple act of exploring deeper into knowledge and understanding of a current passion, skill, desire.

This week, the last week of my glorious forties, I completed the latter. Delving even deeper into my newly found passion of Yoga and taking on the challenge of becoming a Yoga teacher.  The leap from student to teacher in this arena was likened to a chasm for me.

Providing knowledge, wisdom, and skills with another comes easily as I tend to live life transparently and the act of sharing any of my gifts is one of my life’s greatest joy. However, rarely have I ever felt the desire to teach, coach, or train another. Even with my daughter I discovered early on that I was the most effective mom by engaging fully while lovingly allowing her the space and opportunities to become the extraordinary person she was created to be. Not by teaching her my ways but by living my life full on, passionately, with faith, hope and love. Ultimately setting just one (of many) example for her to witness on her journey of finding her own way of being. And gratefully so, for she is magnificent in every way!

Yet in the end (or as my teacher says “just the beginning”) of my remarkably intense teacher training, I was transformed. No longer merely a student and practitioner. Yoga became more than a series of asanas, practiced in a beautiful shala, while surrounded by a supportive tribe. Yoga became what it is…a union. The very word “yoga” makes reference to this. In Sanskrit the root, “yuj” (meaning “unity” or “yoke”), indicating that the purpose of yoga is to unite ourselves with our highest nature. Giving us the ability to transform far beyond the limits of our own mind and body granting us infinite potential to transcend those limitations.

Is my highest nature to teach? Well…that is still yet to be seen. But this I am certain of, by merely immerging myself deeper…magic happened. Like one of David Copperfield’s trick, the old disappeared and what reemerged is a new creation. Vegetarian, Sanskrit speaking (albeit with a southern twang) and all.

 

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right~

12 Saturday Aug 2017

Posted by Krista in Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Simply Put, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Dayum tooting if that beloved Stealers Wheels song, that we’ve all heard so many times, doesn’t give us the ability to sing and dance, all while pointing out those clowns and jokers all around us, without causing offense. Heck we aren’t really calling them out on their clowning or jokery…the song is.

Now I love this song. Enjoy hearing it, as I did last night, by bands brilliantly covering it. Enjoy dancing to it, singing to it, all while surrounded by many a clown and quite a few jokers. But other than the chorus, the song holds little to no meaning for me…

yes I’ve been scared and even fallin off a chair or two. And from time to time I’ve wondered how I’ll get down some stairs. And for goodness sakes any one who knows me, knows there is rarely not a smile on my face and often I’m all over the place.

But the clowns and the jokers they are my squad, my people, my tribe. They seemed magnetised into my life.

After all like attracts like, so they say.

I feel free in the presences of those that let loose, cut free, live life full-out and fully on. My silliness is appreciated amongst such and I become even more myself, more alive, more…

Yet it is the one in the middle that I am stuck with. The middle man. The straight man. The non-clowning. The non-joker. The brilliant man who willingly stays stuck in the middle with me despite all the silly, craziness that the clowns and jokers of my life have provided. He is the one I am stuck with. And boy howdy am I ever grateful for it. stuck_in_the_middle_with_you_by_mazzy12345-d3jdj7p

72% / 28%

10 Thursday Aug 2017

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Imperfectly Perfect, Simply Put, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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How do we reconcile between that which is thoughts in our head when it is so opposing to that which is felt in our heart?

Years ago, discussed this very question with a dear friend.

His response…give your heart 72% of the equation and your head 28%.

Laughing at the specificity of his logic I said, ‘ugh boy… hate numbers and unless, on a sales rack, I dislike percentages even more’. To which he accurately reminded me that I was a banker.

Truth be told, even as a banker, numbers were not (and still aren’t) my speciality. Yet this mathematical solution, indeed, over the years, played out to provide all kinds of beautiful moments. Moments where my heart  made the majority of discussions. Eloquently guiding me, even when it was illogical and naysayers said it was insane, to this exquisitely, beautiful, simple life I now live.

The 72% / 28% was a perfect balanced, well oiled machine…

Until recently.

When my head, no longer satisfied with its allotted 28% began encroaching, sometimes brutally, onto my heart’s 72%. All the while, logically screaming things that my heart had to receive, then somehow lovingly try to counter balance.

Continue reading →

List, list, and more list just for good measure~

24 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Imperfectly Perfect, Simply Put, Uncategorized

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Childhood summers were an adventure from sunup till sundown.

With a lake as our back yard…

Unknownboating,

swimming,

fishing,

sailing,

floating was only a somersault into the water away. Continue reading →

Soak in it or soak it up~

18 Tuesday Jul 2017

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Simply Put, Uncategorized

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Think y’all would agree, unless you are getting home late from a most excellent event, catching an early morning flight to Costa Rica, or yummidly (yes I make up words that suit my need) tangled up in the sheets with someone…

3:42am is not a time that most of us want to be awake.

However 3:42 is precisely the time my eyes, body and more importantly my mind thought it would be fun to emerge from its slumber and most excellent dreams and begin its play date with a word.   Continue reading →

Lesson learned~

03 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by Krista in Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Imperfectly Perfect, Man Whisperings, Simply Put, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

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All too often we make changes and learn life lessons by our mistakes, wrong choices, walking a difficult path, or going through something significant in our life.

However we also have the keen ability to learn while watching others as they maneuver through their own life. Sometimes learning what to do different by their mistakes. While at other times emulating and utilizing that which they did well, as guide posts. Continue reading →

Sassified~

01 Saturday Jul 2017

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Simply Put, Tongue and oh so Cheeky, Uncategorized

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Y’all my sass got derailed.

And boy howdy was it a train wreck.

It’s been going all heather and thither of late and side swiping others along its way. And while I’ve still been lively, flirty, cheeky, confident, full of spirit, fun, and most likely seen as my “normal” sassy self by others…

I have felt and known the difference.

Continue reading →

The Riverbank~

28 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by Krista in BeautyFULL, Bits & Pieces of a Blessed Life, Man Whisperings, Simply Put, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

TN Dec 2016

Wholeheartedly adore the gift of gratitude. It is one of the most powerful benefactions we can bestow. For within, lies the ability to change us and others on a fundamental level…in simple yet profound ways.

Relish living daily within its state and harnessing its power by offering it not only to the Creator and those I know and love but to people who pass in and out of my day.

It is joyful to see another through the eyes and heart of love and by offering gratitude for the magnificent creations they are, is an honor that makes life radiantly beauty filled.

When offering this gift I’m keen on finding a word/words that are refined in nature and powerfully articulates the feelings behind them. Also while attempting to utilize words that are expressive and picturesque.

I might share with someone with a wise, calm, and grounded presence that they are “like a mighty oak”.FullSizeRender-3

Perhaps someone whose so excited they’re going a million miles a minute in every direction…”child, you are like a BB rolling around in a box car”.

Someone who listens, without judgement, being taken over with their own emotions, or even feeling obligated to offer anything back…I might say, “you have an impressive ability of being present and listening like the sky”.

Ooh oooh oooooh…for those gals who are oh so

feisty…

sassy…

and rarin’ to go…

“gal, you’re like a heifer in heat at a rodeo”

(see y’all...very very refined in nature) Continue reading →

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A look back

  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017

All wrapped up, pretty like

What’s in a name?

William Shakespeare had a real knack with names~ creating some of the most memorable… Hamlet, Viola, Beatrice, Lady Macbeth, Titania and of course Romeo and his dear Juliet. Wish I had his talent for such because when it came to deciding on a name for this blog I tortured myself for weeks with ideas. Y’all the names I was considering ran the gamut~ from Simply Be to In His Image, Tongue & Cheek, all the way to Simply Southern Sass.

Each were fittin’ but none fit perfectly. I mean seriously I can rarely simply be. In fact it takes a great deal of efforting on my part to just BE. Nor could three simple words like Simply Southern Sass, adequately describe all that I am… yes, I am southern, yes, I am sassy but dang if I and hopfully this blog are not so much more!

As y’all will find in the days, weeks, months, and by grace… years to come, the gal writing this blog believes anything and everything is possible and feels most confident that she can do ALL that she desires. However in just trying to pick the title I came to discover that while believing in infinite possiblities and the blessings that belief holds it can also play out as a curse, causing one (me) to question ALL possibilities never quite settling on one. The one.

Then low and behold one night while laying in bed I got a silly text from a dear friend, so silly in fact only the most eloquent of responds would suffice…

“Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit”

And so it begins.

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Folks I like checkin in on from time to time

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